Rape does not start in the bedroom

She wants to run but has nowhere to go. She wants to scream but has no voice. She wants to cry but has no tears. She is alone. Walls. Walls. That’s all she has. Four walls surrounding her, covered in cracks and mould. No picture frames. No light. Just walls. She lies curled up on a worn-out mattress and clutches her knees to her chest. The mattress smells like him. Her stomach churns and she chooses to lie on her back. She hates his scent. She tries not to focus on the smell and instead focuses on listening. There is a faint rustling of leaves outside and the occasional humming of birds but aside from that, there is silence.

But silence on the outside does not escape her from the agonising noises inside her head. Her inner screams, cries for help, voices of desperate longing and praying that he won’t come back. Her thoughts about him come in like a cancerous invasion. Every time she tries to take control of her mind and think of something different, those thoughts come back stronger and multiply. They haunt her. They never leave her alone.

The door suddenly latches open and makes her jump. She quickly turns around and prepares herself for what she already knows is going to happen. Her nose is hit by a strong stench of beer. She remains completely silent. She does not scream. She does not cry out for help. The only sound she can hear are those agonizing screams inside her head. Those agonising screams which become louder and louder as he drops his beer to the floor and pulls down his zip. He’s back.

Raping someone is not a spontaneous act, but a preconceived plan. Rape is not caused by alcoholism or drug intoxication or being part of a gang; it is caused by a person feeding their mind with inappropriate sexual thoughts. Rape is not just sex, it is violence. Violation. Power. Dominance. Control. Hatred. It does not start in the bedroom, it starts in a person’s mind. It is not a sudden moment of irrational thinking, it is a well-thought out decision. A person who chooses to rape has fantasized about rape long before they choose to do it. No, you cannot blame a woman because she is wearing provocative clothing. No, you cannot blame a little girl for taking a different route to get home late at night. No, you cannot blame a male victim for being in a prison cell full of other sex-hungry men. No, you cannot blame a homosexual person for choosing to love a person of the same sex as them. No, you cannot blame her because she is a prostitute. No, you cannot blame a wife for disobeying her husband. No you cannot get away with rape because you have good manners. No you cannot get away with rape because you’re a doctor, or a priest, or a family man. There is no situation in this world which makes rape okay, no person in this world who “deserves what he/she got”, no rapist in this world who deserves to get away with what they’ve done.

So what is the solution? How do we stop this sexual violence from happening? How do we create a society which will not tolerate rape under any circumstances? Maybe we could create awareness.  Maybe we could stop drug trafficking. Maybe we could prohibit alcohol. Maybe we could create safety procedures and protection services for those who are at risk of being raped. Maybe we could imprison rapists. These are all effective ways of reducing the instances of rape, but there is only one thing which can prevent rape.

The tongue.

The tongue is a very powerful tool. We can all control what we say, how we say it, who we say it to. Rape does not start in the bedroom. It starts with language. How are we talking about women? Are we sexualising their bodies or treating them with respect? Are we condoning sexual violence or condemning it? Are we discussing rape as a sign of strength and “machismo” or a sign of weakness? Are you talking to women as though they’re you’re equals or your inferiors? Are we saying that rape is justified if a person has a different sexual preference to us?

“She is my wife and she disobeyed me, she needs discipline man! I can’t just allow a person to get away with not listening to me, especially if she is a woman!”

“That chick deserved what she got. What was she thinking walking down an alleyway by herself? And she was basically wearing underwear!”

“Why do these women gott’ complain man? These days they always want to be stronger and better than a man. But they will never be better. The man is always above the woman under my roof.”

The tongue.

Let’s challenge rape culture by controlling our language about rape, sexual assault, harassment, violence, women and children. Let’s create a community where any human being can walk home and feel safe no matter what time they’re going home. Let’s create a community where rape is not tolerated. And let’s certainly create a community where rapists are not tolerated either. Let’s build a culture of consent by remembering where rape starts.

 

Lauren Pechey                                                          

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Lauren is currently studying Psychology at the University of Cape Town which has allowed her to put her heart and soul into understanding people, rape culture, gendered violence and women studies. She believes that every experience of womanhood is unique and intricately linked to one’s background, religion, race, culture, sexual orientation, disability, age and so on. She hopes to continue to speak out against gendered oppression and to one day provide adequate support to to people from all walks of life who have been victims of it

Empowering women to advocate for change in South Africa

This year’s theme for International Women’s Day is #BeBoldForChange. Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust has embodied this by launching our Rape Survivors’ Justice Campaign in 2016 to lobby for a significant change in how South Africa’s criminal justice system deals with sexual offences cases. The Rape Survivors’ Justice Campaign calls for access to sexual offences courts for all survivors and holds the government accountable for the national rollout of these courts, as was promised in 2013.

These Sexual Offences Courts are crucial in ensuring justice, because they focus on the needs of the survivor and aim to provide survivor-centred justice. These courts have specialised personnel, services and infrastructure. Some of the special features of these courts, are that the sexual offences courtrooms have separate entrances so that survivors do not have to walk past the defendant on their way to the courtroom. In addition, the survivor is able to testify from a separate room using CCTV. We believe that these courts will provide support to survivors throughout the court process and Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust provides court supporters at 5 courts in the Cape Town. These court supporters are trained to help survivors navigate the criminal justice system and offer much needed emotional support to survivors.

The specialised personnel and services that makes up a sexual offences court is centred around the survivor and we therefore refer to it as survivor-centred justice. These resources also include a friendly, welcoming environment that makes it easier for survivors who are children and/or mentally challenged to testify, because it reduces the secondary trauma that survivors experience as a result of entering the criminal justice system.

Pelisa who has been a court supporter at Parow Magistrates Court for six years knows the importance of Sexual Offences Courts. She first got involved with the court support programme because she recognized a “need” for change after hearing stories from community members in Khayelitsha, where she lives. Pelisa is a passionate supporter for survivors of sexual offences who has always helped others heal and become stronger. Her role in the court support programme has been to explain to the survivor why they are there, how they can handle the situation better and, most importantly, help them “learn to love again”. According to Pelisa, her favourite parts about being a court supporter is “when [she] sees a smile on the survivor’s face” and “when [she] talks to them and sees that they have become free and strong”.

Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust welcomed the promise by government to re-establish sexual offences courts. These services, personnel and infrastructure are vital to survivors seeking justice. Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust has continually been in the forefront of empowering women to advocate for change in South Africa. However, there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. There are only 49 Sexual Offences Courts, and other services offered to survivors of sexual offences are still inadequate. A donation to Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust will go a long way to help us continue our work to hold government accountable for the rollout of sexual offences courts and to offer much needed support to survivors through our counselling and court support services.

Image above: Pelisa Nokoyo – Rape Crisis Court Supporter

Written by: Adam Kirschner – Communications Intern at Rape Crisis

If you would like to contribute to our programmes, Donate now and find out more here: http://rapecrisis.org.za/donate/

 

 

Tax payers that donate qualify for a tax deduction

Not everyone knows that if you have donated an amount to a Public Benefit Organisation (PBO) and you are a tax payer then you qualify for a tax deduction.

 As an approved PBO Rape Crisis has the privilege and responsibility of spending public funds, which we derive from donations and from grants. In order to maintain our registration as a PBO we must of course ensure that we continue to comply with relevant legislation throughout our existence. Our annual income tax return enables the South African Revenue Service (SARS) to assess whether we are operating within the prescribed limits of the approval we have been granted.

 Rape Crisis plays a significant role in society as we take a shared responsibility with the South African Government for the social and development needs of rape survivors, their families and people affected by the trauma of someone close to them.

 Since the South African Government has recognised that Rape Crisis is dependent upon the generosity of the public, and, to encourage that generosity, it has provided a tax deduction for any donations made by a taxpayer.

 Having made a bona fide donation in cash or of property in kind to Rape Crisis as a Section 18A – approved organisation, you are entitled to a deduction from your taxable income if the donation is supported by the necessary section 18A receipt issued by our finance and administration manager.

 Should you have made a donation to us and you require an 18A certificate or receipt please write to Charlene Whittern on charlene@rapecrisis.org.za and include the following details:

  • Your name and surname
  • Your physical address
  • The amount you donated (or the value of the in kind goods you donated)
  • The date on which you sent the donation

She will then confirm your donation and send you the certificate via email as an attachment.

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Rape Crisis Finance Manager, Charlene Whittern, hard at work sending 18A certificates to donors.

Should you still wish to donate to Rape Crisis before the end of the financial year and thus qualify for a tax deduction please click here. You will be part of the work we do seeking justice for rape survivors, supporting their recovery and making sure the very same government you pay your taxes to rolls out ten new specialised sexual offences courts for hearing rape cases every year.

 Thank you for everything you have done to help us make sure that rape survivors make their own journey, in their own way and at their own pace towards recovery or along the road to justice, and for making sure that our government shares the responsibility for supporting them on that journey with us.

SONA Schmona and Other Things in February

Nearing the end of February, we have a lot to reflect on, chew on and (eventually) spit out.  Both the State of the Nation Address (SONA) by our President, Jacob Zuma, as well as the Budget Speech by Pravin Gordhan, our Minister of Finance, left a bitter taste in my mouth.

During SONA, our country’s President aims to convey to everyone in South Africa what the state of this nation actually is. This event also marks the opening of Parliament for the year and, say what you want, it is exciting to see Parliament in full cry. For some general reasons to care about the SONA address, please have a look at the Activate! Change Driver’s Network page.  The issues that the President mentions and highlights during this address, will be the issues that get special attention from government in the coming year. As coordinator of the Rape Survivors’ Justice Campaign, I was particularly interested to hear the President’s expressed views on gender based violence, services for survivors of sexual offences and, of course, the importance of the rollout of sexual offences courts. It is for this very reason that I noted the President’s very loud silence on all of the aforementioned.

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The Rape Survivors’ Justice Campaign protested outside the Athlone and Khayelitsha Magistrate’s Courts during 16 Days of Activism to demand that all rape survivors have access to  Sexual Offences Courts. (Pic: Alexa Sedgwick)

With great hope I looked forward to the Budget Speech presented by Minister Gordhan a couple of days ago. His speech is important for two reasons. Firstly, he tells the country where government will get its money from and secondly, he tells us what the government’s spending priorities will be for the coming year. In order to fund the rollout of sexual offences courts, government would have to allocate a significant budget to the relevant departments to make courts with specialised services, personnel and infrastructure a reality for all survivors of sexual offences. Again there was no mention at all of the importance of support to survivors or the rollout of specialised courts to deal with sexual offences. This tells me that the chances are very slim that there will be an increased budget allocated to the rollout of sexual offences courts or the provision of psycho-social support to survivors.

Although the Department of Justice has, in 2013 already, promised to roll out sexual offences courts, we must not get disheartened when we realise that these issues are still very low on government’s current list of priorities. This situation provides a great opportunity for the Rape Survivors’ Justice Campaign, together with our partners and communities, to continue to lobby and advocate for the rollout of sexual offences courts to make sure that all survivors of sexual offences have access to survivor-centred justice.

SONA and the Budget Speech have again shown us that government is so preoccupied with other pressing concerns that it is a massive endeavour to shift their attention to sexual offences. However, when you follow us on Facebook, you help us sweeten the bitter taste that these two speeches have left in all our mouths. If we lobby and advocate strategically over the course of this year, who knows what will happen in #SONA2018…?

 

 

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Jeanne Bodenstein

Jeanne is the Advocacy Coordinator at the Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust and heads the Rape Survivors’ Justice Campaign. She likes wine, pizza and recently started growing herbs.