Take Action If You Said #MeToo

23622383_1204116809687854_4631260901422809178_n

Speak Out member, Chipo. Photo by Alexa Sedge.

By Kathleen Dey

I appeal to anyone who posted or followed #MeToo on social media to join our I ACT Campaign and donate R100 every month to fund our free counselling service to rape survivors.

The #MeToo campaign was initially used by North American community organiser Tarana Burke in 2006 as part of a campaign to promote “empowerment through empathy” among black women who had experienced sexual abuse, particularly within underprivileged communities.

20xp-metoo1-master768

Tarana Burke (via justbeinc.org)

It gained global momentum after accusations of sexual harrassment – and rape – were brought against Hollywood mogul, Harvey Weinstein in 2017. Actress Alyssa Milano encouraged posting the phrase as part of an awareness campaign to show the scale of the problem.

She tweeted Tarana Burke’s call to action: “If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote #MeToo as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”

According to Wikipedia the phrase was used by more than 4.7 million people in 12 million posts during the first 24 hours.

I am aware of so many women who posted #MeToo on social media platforms and told their stories of harassment, violence and abuse – and many more who were moved by the trend but for good reason did not post the hashtag or tell their painful stories. If each of these took action by donating R100 a month Rape Crisis, we could kick start the I ACT Campaign, a campaign designed to address some of the enormous helplessness and anger we feel when we see how widespread and severe the scale of the problem is. #MeToo demonstrated this only too well.

There were some strong posts from men in support of the women who posted #MeToo, many were shocked by the prevalence and some men said #MeToo as survivors themselves. This is a campaign that men can support just as well. What better way of showing support than a tangible gesture? Many can then say, “I ACT for women’s empowerment” and mean it.

Members of the LGBTQIA community could say an even stronger #MeToo having experienced the intersecting trauma of being sexually harassed and being targeted because of their sexuality, sexual orientation or gender identity. Many have not posted because #MeToo did not recognise this but only saw violence through the eyes of women. The fact is there are many intersections in our society that most people are completely oblivious to. Black women might not have the luxury of posting #MeToo but many of the rape survivors we see at rape crisis experience these multiple forms of harassment. On behalf of all of them we say #MeToo and ask you all to say #I-ACT in return.

Just R100 ensures a one hour counselling session for a rape survivor including transport money if needed. In this space where survivors feel safe to tell their stories they find their own coping strategies, learn to move forward, make well informed decisions and connect more closely to others. Please take action to support them so we can all say I-ACT.

 

img_0625_1

Kathleen Dey is the Director of the Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust.

Advertisements

Can you help someone recover from the trauma of rape? Yes you can.

In order to help a rape survivor recover from their experience with sexual violence, there’s much rebuilding to do. And slowly, a survivor receives the tools and information about choices that will restore personal power and resilience, and lead on to healing.

Who will take this journey with her from the time of the incident, to the police station, to the forensic examination and, if she chooses, to court? It will be a counsellor who has been specifically trained in how to hold her pain.

Barbara Williams, Counselling Coordinator

Barbara Williams, Counselling Coordinator. (Photo: Alexa Sedge)

You can decide to be that counsellor who makes that journey with the survivor. Or you can make it possible for someone else to be that counsellor.

The counselling training programme comes at a price and it’s here that we need your support, because many more counsellors are needed. Your contribution will not only grow the survivor, it will grow the family, the neighbourhood, the community and the country.

With much gratitude,

Barbara Williams
Counselling Coordinator, Athlone

Donate now

 

National Wills Week in September

The Law Society of South Africa will host National Wills Week from 11 to 15 September 2017. During this week participating attorneys will draft basic wills free of charge. You can read more about this and find all participating attorneys by clicking here. By making a Will you ensure that your assets are disposed of in accordance with your wishes after your death.

A qualified attorney can advise you on any problems which may arise with regard to your will and ensure that your will is valid and complies with your wishes. If you die without leaving a valid will, your assets may not be left to the person of your choice, it might take a long time to appoint an executor and there may be extra costs. There can be unhappiness and conflict among members of your family because there are no clear instructions on how to distribute your assets.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Leaving a legacy

Bequests and legacies provide an important income stream for many charities. A Will is the best way to safeguard the future of the causes important to you. When you make a bequest in your Will, you make a difference. A difference to a worthwhile charity and a difference to people in need. One of the most important things our generation can do is provide the means to ensure Rape Crisis is around to continue serving the thousands of rape survivors attended to every year.

Fortunately, leaving a bequest is easy. What’s more, just a relatively small donation from your overall estate could make all the difference to the survivors in need.

Please click here to download the codicil to be filled out and attached to your will.

Let’s all work together to ensure a brighter future for the thousands of rape survivors we help every year. If you would like more information or to talk to us about this, please contact Kathleen Dey at kath@rapecrisis.org.za. To make an ordinary donation click here. Please pass on this information to anyone you think may want to leave a legacy for survivors.

Help Us Build a Culture of Consent

I have a vision of a South Africa where women feel safe in their communities. But can you truly imagine it?

I can’t. At Rape Crisis we see the most extreme result of discrimination against women every day. We see a woman after a man has raped her. In the immediate aftermath, or some months later, or after years and years of isolating silence. A silence built on the stigma of being a rape survivor. On the fear of being blamed for wearing a short skirt, or for being out after dark, for being drunk, or for changing her mind in the middle of a sexual encounter. In South Africa these myths are strong enough and the stigma is high enough to stand in the way of this vision.

We believe that the best way to challenge these myths and build a new set of beliefs based on mutual respect for consent is to support communities so that their capacity to address the problem of rape is strengthened. We believe that doing this with teenagers while they are still at school means they are more likely to challenge their own ways of thinking and take that challenge to their peers. Teenagers love to challenge the adult norm.

Monique is a Rape Crisis trained peer educator at Athlone High School. She completed a course that allowed her to support other learners at her school who needed help if they had been raped or sexually assaulted and were too afraid to tell an adult. It also taught her different ways of challenging rape culture among her peers and teaching them new ways of thinking, a new attitude and a new norm. To celebrate Youth Day 16 June 2017 she wrote a blog for us.

“Being a peer educator is a responsibility that I need to fulfil with the utmost seriousness. I am proud to be a peer educator,” she said.

20161208_121

Obstacle course at the Peer Educators’ camp in Simonstown December 2016. Photograph by Alexa Sedge.

The course kicks off with a well-known exercise called the River of Life. It is designed to help participants tell the story of their lives in order to get to know one another at a deeper level and, in sharing this experience as a group, to develop a bond as a team.

“Fear immediately settled in me. Not because I had to speak in front of 21 strangers but because I had to show others who I really was. I had to show others all the things which made my childhood not so pleasant: all the things that I had locked away and although I wanted to throw away the key, I couldn’t. So there I was, revealing what I had kept inside for years – it was scary. I hated the fact that I had to be vulnerable. However, as each of my peers went up, I could see that we all had a dark past and that sunshine was scarce. What I learnt from that activity was that we need to scratch open our old wounds in order for them to heal properly. I realised that in order for me to help others, I had to help myself first.”

Empowerment starts within. Each facilitator on this course is a trained Rape Crisis volunteer. They go through a similar journey of confronting their fears as they learn to carry the huge responsibility of taking a group of young people on a journey fraught with intense emotions. But if we think of how damaging it is when an entire community believes even just one myth about women, about gender non-conforming people or about rape then we can see how serious it really is to make the attempt to challenge that myth.

“That activity made me realise something else as well: that’s what rape survivors have to go through when telling complete strangers about their traumatic experience, trusting others with what they would perhaps have kept to themselves.”

20161208_171

Photograph by Alexa Sedge

“Throughout this programme, session by session, I learnt to trust others and I learnt of the stigma related to those being raped and how they are judged. I also learnt many things about HIV and AIDS and the stigma related to those who are positive. I learnt of our rights, our responsibilities and the rights of survivors.”

If you would like to support the journey of a peer educator like Monique please donate here or share this post with someone you think might want to contribute.

“Being part of the Rape Crisis family has been really great for me. We laugh together, cry together, and share a lot of memories. I want to thank the facilitators for doing a super job. Keep inspiring others and moulding new leaders. Although my course is complete, my journey as a peer educator has just begun.”

Please help us promote a culture of safety in our schools or sign up to get updates about this and other projects at Rape Crisis. Because challenging just one myth helps to challenge the culture that gave birth to it; the same culture that gives rise to discrimination and violence against women.

Thank you so much for being part of the process of building a culture of consent.